Story Time

I'm going to two preschools for work now and am so amazed how professionals believe that 'moral' books are interesting to 3/4 year olds. The ones with titles like "I Can Share" or "Co-operation Is Fun". Gag. They are dull with very weak story lines and really, from the response of the children, aren't appealing to them either. I'm pretty sure the manner in which the 'stories' are read (definitely not told) adds to the boredom level.

My prof in Literature for Children HATES those books and I understand now why. The children have zip idea what they are saying. I love how one little girl asked "What is share?" It says it all--the kids don't get it. Weave what you want them to learn into a delightful simple story and "bing"! they understand. But no amount of reading stories is going to create a sharing child, that is done by example and by doing. Otherwise it sounds like Charlie Brown teachers "wha wha wha".

Read good stories that are well written and your child will be engaged if you also tell the story and not drone on through the words. Teach your child by example ("do as I'm doing, follow follow me").

Our family liked the Berenstain Bears "First Time" books and Robert Cosgrove's "Serendipity" series of books. Yes they would/are considered 'moral' books but like parables, they are also a good story. (Franklin books-the non-TV series ones- are good also). So is Dr. Suess' "Green Eggs & Ham", "I Will Never Eat Tomatoes" and other Lauren Child's Charlie & Lola stories. There are so many good quality children's books that those mediocre (read lame) books are just fire starters.

Enough is Enough-protect not objectify your little girls

I have to speak up on this, bras for 4-12 yr. old girls???? Why would anyone even conceive that idea? I've always though two piece bathing suits were just silly because they really aren't practical for little kids...the tops never seem to stay where they're meant to be, but really, bras???

This sexualization of our girls is gone on too long and people, men, women, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, everyone MUST stand up and say "ENOUGH!" Let our children be children, they are not little adults...that thought was debunked in the late 19th Century. At least back then children were either ignored or put to work in factories or the family farm, not wholesaled off as mini-porn stars.

CRIN-the Child's Rights Information Network has an article about the sexualization of children that is well worth reading:

http://www.crin.org/resources/infodetail.asp?id=25916

This isn't just about girls either, little boys are exposed to little girls and become conditioned to seeing provocative clothing and it becomes their "normal".

" Gail Dines, a sociology professor at Wheelock College in Boston, similarly slammed the top, saying it would encourage girls to think about themselves in a sexual way before they are ready.

"It (also) sends out really bad signals to adult men about young firls being appropriate sexual objects," she told CNN affiliate WHDH. (http://edition.cnn .com/2011/BUSINESS/03/26/abercrombie.bikini.controversy/index.html)

Abercrombie & Fitch this year brought out padded & push-up bikini tops for little girls...why would someone even THINK that a 7 year old needs a padded swimsuit??? They also have sold thongs to this age group-and I'm not talking footwear either.

Another company created onesies with "MILF" printed on the front--for those babies as young as 3mos.! Some mothers on an online bulletin board actually defended this by stating that they saw it as a compliment!

What is really disturbing is that these items are not being created by only men, but women see nothing wrong with dressing little girls like hookers or porn stars. Somehow selling your body either via internet or in person has become something to aspire to. So much for all the work we've done trying to be recognized as thinking people.

Feminist say that this tolerance of sexualization is a misconstrued belief that being overtly sexual is part of being free of stereotypes. Unfortunately, it is only confining them into another stereotype, and a very dangerous one at that. What those who seen nothing wrong with being sexually objectified do not understand is that they are advertising themselves and/or their little girls as fodder for sexual predators. Which then starts (or continues) the destructive cycle of sexual abuse, which is a very difficult emotional prison to be freed from.

Considering this era of 'helicopter' parenting, it seems contradictory to encourage your girl to be an open advertisement for sexual adulation.

So sad that tolerance includes acceptance of emotionally destructive behaviours.

Lets keep our children...ALL of our children be their ours, neighbours or in another country... lets work to keep all of them safe from sexual predators.

Summer is finally here and now almost over

Summer 2011 throughout North America...from British Columbia to Washington D.C.

Private Campground near Prince George, B.C.


Canada Day 2011 in Hinton, Alberta:




It was a cool wet July with bursts of sun but the kids still were able to get out and play at a play yard built by the city of Spruce Grove, Alberta.


Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. Families came to view and contemplate. And preserve memories of the visit.




Albert Einstein...a great man who as a child struggled to learn traditionally and then became a great scientist.


Make the most of what is left before formal schooling starts again (or continues for those who are doing a modified school calendar).

Attachment theory

A couple of weeks ago I attended a seminar put on by the Alberta Play Therapy Association. It was on Attachment Theory as perceived/developed by Dr. Gordon Neufeld. http://www.youtube.com/user/neufeldmedia The clips aren't long but do give a clear idea what he is about.

I was quite enthralled with it. I somehow have misplaced my notes, so no quotes. He did surmise that all behaviour issues with kids stem from a break in the attachment of the child to a parent/caregiver. I see what he means, but I also see potential for wailing and gnashing of teeth from parents that don't think or didn't really connect to their child--and especially so if that child suffers from a mental illness.

If he is correct, then what? Reconnect them. Or connect them to someone who will be a constant in their life. How to do that? It is more than bonding in the early days or months of the child's life. It needs to continue and develop further. Get to know them, play with them, eat with them, talk with them.And don't stop when they start school, be it pre-school or regular school. That is when it is even more important to remain connected to them. Dr. Neufeld suggests that we develop a relationship such that the child wants to please us, to obey rules. He states that by doing so we will be giving them the freedom to be independent. I don't think he was talking about 'helicopter' parents. That is being too involved in your child's life. If the child is secure in the knowledge that their parent(s) will always be there for them, then the child will have the confidence to try things.

What if a child still strays? I'm not sure what his stand on that is...I'm of the thought that children are born with innate characteristics...personalities that is. As long as you did the best that you could, at the very least ensure they know that you will always love them.

A scene that is often played out is when the parent(s) leave the young child someplace and the child cries when they try to leave. Some children stop shortly after the parent leaves...and gives the impression that the crying was only for the benefit of the parents. Or they continue to cry and after they stop their behaviour isn't socially acceptable.

To assist with the child's 'connectiveness' with the parents, they could give something of theirs for the child to keep. We stay connected with others by touch, smell and presence. Since presence is not an option, letting the child have something that feels or smells like (or both!) the parent that can be kept in their pocket will provide that intact contact that is so needed. I have not had a chance to try it, but isn't that similar to the security 'blankie' or stuffy some children demand to keep with them? Logic says that could also work with the straying teen, let them have something small that they can carry with them always. A necklance, ring, photograph...something that will help remind them that they have a family that unconditionally loves them. It is worth a try anyways.

Traumatized children

Trauma is one of those subjective entities, what negatively affects one person another doesn't give it much thought past the incident. Children can be the same, but how they respond to a traumatizing incident can affect them very deeply. And adversely affects their future behaviour and choices.

Children outside of Japan have seen news footage reporting on the recent earthquakes & tsunami in Japan. Unlike adults, young children cannot differentiate between a reality in their personal world and someone else's reality thousands of kilometers/miles way.

Dan Hodgins, a early childhood education specialist, offers some suggestions on helping your (or any child you have contact with) cope with disasters:

• Let children speak freely about what scares them or puzzles them.
• Encourage children to act out their fears through dramatic play [this is very important, as they play out their fears instead of talking about them]
• If they ask, “Are we going to have an earthquake?” Say,“You are scared that an earthquake is going to happen to you? It is not happening right now”. Keep it in present tense.
• Let children practice where to go in case a disaster was to occur, even if the chances are slim that it will not occur in your area. Children believe it is going to happen. So getting under tables, in door frames, all add to a sense of safety for them.
• Maintain consistent routines, it makes children feel safe
• Point out the acts of recovery rather than the gloom. A dog was found and given food, people are in the hospital getting better, the helicopters are finding people, etc.
• Remind them if there was an earthquake or other disaster that you, teacher, grandparent, etc. are there to help them.
• Keep the talk among adults away from children’s ears.
• Remind them if there was an earthquake or other disaster that you, teacher, grandparent, etc. are there to help them. (danieljhodgins.com)

Art and Heart

The rainbows turned out soo wonderful...I tell the parents that they're 'frame-able'. They are so clean and look like the ones you see in craft books. I sponged the paint onto the kid's hands instead of letting them plop the hands into the paint. ALL the kids present that morning did one! If they're not all claimed I'm taking one home with me to scan. I think one should be kept by the daycare's director since she taught these kiddos for awhile (ok, just over a year prior to me coming in). I've decided that I'll do the same technique with my grandkiddos...and this time remember to put their names under their handprints.

The Leprechaun traps were semi-successful, lots of glitter and sparkles. Everywhere. Only one child refused to make one. Even with a partner. When the 'leprechaun' came and left a shamrock & St. Pat's day pencil in each trap he didn't get one. Thankfully he was at kindergarten when the 'visit' happened so he only saw the treats. I went looking for his lunch kit to put the stuff into but it must've been in his backpack and I couldn't get to it. He asked and I reminded him that he didn't want to make one. He didn't say anything. I felt conflicted because he needs to learn consequences and he also needs to be remembered. His overall behaviour is not endearing, which is heart wrenching in itself, but really, I can't indulge him either because he already gets that to some type of degree.

Thursday they painted Blarney Stones--Arborite samples from Home Depot. The clerk told me to take 4-5 of the ones I wanted. She thought I was looking for my house. I do but they made cheap 'stones'. I had enough from two trips for some kids to make 2 or more. They weren't 'frame-able' but not every product needs to be.

Friday's art project was more about the process than the product. Paint and wax crayons combined with paint sample chips (the Disney colours have Mickey's head shaped chips). It was a class project, meaning that there was one large sheet of paper that everyone that wanted to painted/drew on. The paint chips were glued on with paint. I found some things that when dragged across the paint left designed so that gave the project more texture. It looked better at a distance but still looked like a bunch of little kids got into the paint pots and let loose. Yes, it was more about the process than the project. I plan a few of those every couple of weeks.

Preschoolers-crafts and art

Since starting with this daycare I've done the 'craft' portion of the day and lately I've had the children whining that they don't want to do it. Granted not all the projects were mind blowing great, but I thought were interesting for their age group.

Today I only had one refuse (a six year old who runs, hides & curls up when things aren't going his way) until I told him something. I think I wouldn't let him play hockey (yes, indoors) or something. When he sat down he again whined and asked why he had to do crafts. I said that he wasn't doing a craft today, but art. His reaction was very interesting, he appeared to be now interested in participating. I wasn't conning him, it really was art--they had to mix yellow and blue paint to make the green they needed to sponge onto a piece of paper. After the paint dried they traced around a shamrock shape and then cut it out. This was an art class-learning about colour mixing (I had paint sample cards and would asked them which greens had more yellow or blue in them), they used a technique that they don't often use (using a sponge) and decided on how much of their large white paper to cover and how to apply the paint (some actually sponged and others smeared the paint with the sponge). They had to wait until it dried before doing the next two steps. We discovered that the pencil didn't really show up on top of the paint so they flipped the paper over and had to line up the template so that it took in the most painted part of the paper and then cut out the shamrock.

So, I wonder if they are tired of creating junk (they may not be able to articulate it but find themselves reluctant to do something that really isn't useful). The conundrum is a very limited budget, easily disengaged children that if not involved in something positive, will cause chaos in the classroom and I really cannot do a labour intensive project EVERY day. I can only have 4 children at a time doing the project since they seem to need a lot of guidance for these activities. I have spent most of a morning just getting everyone through a project--for example the paper making project. All they had to do was slop wet pulp onto a small screen and roll the water out and then place it on the drying rack. I could only do one at a time though I had 2 at the table. I didn't have trouble getting the whiners to do it. I only had one refuse and since by then I was tired and had miscounted the number of screens I needed, let it slide.

Tomorrow is a handprint rainbow. I think we'll just use 4 colours/4 handprints. hmmm could make this into a co-operating project, 2 kids, 4 hands = 4 colours. They each help another person create their 4 colour rainbow. Yes! That would work. Maybe.

I'll see.